


Draco In Distress

by MoriartyDelighted



Series: Woe is Draco Malfoy [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Aurors, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-11-05 03:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11004801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoriartyDelighted/pseuds/MoriartyDelighted
Summary: ...even in the darkest moment, my heart kept whispering to me, 'Help will come, dear Draco. Place your faith in The Boy Who Lived. Trust in Him. He will not abandon you.' That voice gave strength to my heart, hope to my soul, that I will be saved!





	Draco In Distress

**Author's Note:**

> Tip: Read in a dramatic voice lol.

Standing in the middle of the raised platform of the Ministry Theatre, Draco did a quick mental calculation and gave it at least eight minutes before  _him_ getting a whiff of what's happening here at the Entertainment Wing. That gave him six minutes at most to deliver his speech and two to find a quick escape route. 

Casting a Sonorus charm to his throat, Draco said to the masses (okay well nine people in total, _it was lunch time_ ) milling around, 'Attention please, Witches and Wizards! I know that you're all bursting with curiosity and can't simply wait to hear the heroic rescue of mine by Auror Potter, the one and only! So without further ado, here I present, a full record complete with first-hand experiences of what I like to call, Harry Potter and The Draco In Distress!'

The bored people slowly started filing towards the stage. Good! He pulled out an official Ministry case report file and began to read,

'Auror Potter as intrepid as ever, ran headfirst into the burning mansion, not in the _least_ concerned about its falling roof panels! The walls were falling in on themselves and within a few minutes, nothing would've been left behind but ash and bones. But He my hero! searched the burning house thoroughly for my presence. 

'His _impeccable_  timing and _infallible_ seeking skills combined with His  _incomparable_ determination aided Him in rescuing my body and soul, from the raging inferno I thought I was permanently stuck in, before I became... well, just soul. 

'I was helpless, hopeless and unarmed. I was tremulous and frightened beyond belief!'

A few laughed at this because _yeah right if anyone could recollect a time when_ Malfoy _was terrified, it'd be an achievement._

'I was running through the long fiery corridors of the third floor of the mansion when I chanced upon a room that wasn't yet attacked by the devilish fire. Hoping I'd get to a window, I veered sideways into the room. 

'Alas! 'Twas a trap! The moment the door clicked close behind me, I panicked and began to call my partner's name out till my throat went sore- "Harry!" - but woe was me! the room was soundproof, as I came to know later. My now frail voice echoed multiple times in the bare stone room. 

'Desperate, I tried to summon my wand to me using my mental prowess but then I remembered! That ability is the ineffable and unsurpassable skill of The Saviour Of The Wizarding World, and not his slightly co workers.

'So I gave up, and collapsed on the floor, defeated and ready to welcome my imminent death. But even then, even in the darkest of moments, my heart kept whispering to me that "Help will come dear Draco. Place your faith in The Boy Who Lived. Trust in Him. He will not abandon you." That voice gave strength to my heart and hope to my soul that I will be saved. 

'The room was growing hotter minute by minute but I didn't tire mentally. I had complete faith in my agile partner's unfailing potency to most skillfully impregnate the-'

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU READING, MALFOY?!' Potter's thundering voice jostled Draco out of the trance he was in, immersed as he was in his theatrics. 

Oh bollocks. Draco knew he should've payed more attention in basic Arithmancy. By the looks of it Potter had just ran into the room, with Ginger and Granger in hot pursuit. The crowd had steadily increased and now at least twenty people were looking back and forth at them. Not one to be easily phased by angryhotdevourable Potters, Draco threw him his most dazzling smile and said, 'Don't interrupt me, darling.' and continued like nothing was ever off.

Fortunately for him, the Ginger was amused by the whole thing and restrained Potter as he began to advance to the stage, no doubt to haul me off of it. 

'As I was, -impregnate the defences set up by the Death Eaters. A well known fact about the Saviour is that he has one weakness.'

He paused for dramatic effect. 'His friends.'

'You. Are not my friend.' Muttered a seething Potter and attempted to throw off Ginger. 

No interruption whatsoever happened in Draco's world.

'And me. Well two then. He will go to the end of the world for the aforementioned or in this case, run into a mansion on fire, uncaring about his own safety. Back to my state of affairs, I was lying on the floor, trying my best to not let my mind plunge into despair, when I heard a loud crash and accompanying it, the most beautiful sound in the world!

'It said, "Draco! My heart! I've come for you, are you unscathed? Are you alright?"'

'I never!' Somehow Potter had managed to get away from Weasley and was right next to him on the stage now. He looked positively livid and Draco's heart skipped a beat. 

'Shh, Potty, I know exactly what you said, "Malfoy, you little shit, what have you gotten into this time?" Now shush! Let the listeners enjoy.'

By then the crowd were quite into the story telling and some didn't even hesitate to say to the Head Auror, 'Move along now, Sir, let him finish it! We need to hear poor Draco's reaction at your magnificent entry!'

Gobsmacked, Potter was effectively silenced. Draco took this opportunity and carried on. 

'I opened my eyes that I thought were forever closed to the world, and I saw the most wonderful sight for sore eyes, The Saviour! Of The Wizarding World! Twice!!-'

'ENOUGH!!!' yelled Potter and if Potter hated anything more than me, it's the titles given to him, and instantly I knew I struck something deep. Getting ready for a flight not fight, _because who in their right mind would fight Potter in this state of his haha,_ Ishouted to the crowd, 

'PART TWO ON TUESDAY SAME TIME!'

and ran to the door, Potter right after me, yelling, 'Argh! I'll get you Malfoy!'

'I doubt it Potty!', I yelled back and ran even faster. . . 

 

 

All in all, a typical day at the Ministry of Magic. 

**Author's Note:**

> Rest to your imagination. ❤️❤️❤️


End file.
